In Conflict Avoid First Instincts And Instead Choose To Respond In An Appropriate Level-Headed Manner
OPENING PRAYER:
Heavenly Father, guide me in the truth that is found in your written word. Help me to understand and keep your word hidden in my heart. Amen.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:30-31 (NIV)
REFLECT:
Don’t make God’s Spirit grieve! But how do we cause the Spirit of God to grieve? By harboring bitterness, unleashing anger-driven rage, fighting with others and slandering their name while plotting to harm them. Not only are these behaviors in direct opposition to the will and character of God, but they are also the exact opposite of the qualities the Spirit is seeking to produce in our lives – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. No wonder such evil behaviors grieve the Holy Spirit.
How do we show love and how can we be peacemakers when we experience conflict in our relationships? We love others and bring peace to our relationships when we follow what is true and do good. A basic principle is one of imitation – we treat others imitating the way God treats us. We know God wants us to forgive and not harbor any hostility in our hearts. We need to forgive others as He forgives us in Christ. This is a truth that applies to every relationship.
APPLY:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
It is important to speak truth to one another. God’s word says we are all members of one body. When we are motivated by love and wish someone well, with God’s help we will find the opportunity to discuss difficult issues and conflicts. Speaking truth brings freedom and the possibility to heal.
Peace means getting rid of any hostile attitude. When we recognize such attitudes in our hearts, we need to be quick to ask and accept forgiveness from God and invite Him to purify our hearts. It is impossible to walk in the path of peace and choose to think or do evil. Strife and hostility are evil. Offense is evil. Revenge is evil. Envy, resentment, and lies are evil. The path of peace means hating what is evil and clinging to what is good. The steps along this path also include helping and meeting needs, hospitality, blessing others, showing sympathy and compassion and modest thinking.
God calls us to look at each other as close relatives, members of God’s family. We may not like all our relatives, or maintain equally close relationships with all, but that does not alter the fact that we are related to them. We are to express this kind of perception externally in showing a kind, gentle, good, respectful, and honoring attitude when experiencing conflict with others.
The key to all human behavior lies in man’s relationship with God, not with his fellow man. The latter is an effect which comes after the cause. The place to begin in solving our human relationships is not with other people but with our relationship to God. Our relationships with others will reflect our relationship with our God. It always does. There is always a vertical problem that must be taken care of first before the horizontal problem can be solved. So, start with the vertical relationship with God. “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.”
That is the place to start.
CLOSING PRAYER:
Dear Father, forgive me my trespasses as I forgive those who have trespassed against me. Please conform me to be more like Jesus by the power of your Holy Spirit as I commit to display Jesus’ character and compassion in my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
WORSHIP: