God Calls His Followers To A Higher Standard When Resolving Conflict
OPENING PRAYER:
Lord, thank you for today. Take away any distractions and help me see clearly what you would have me see.
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:17-24 (NIV)
REFLECT:
When reflecting on these verses, we are told that the lives of Christians will progressively look different than the lives of those who do not follow Christ.
Putting off the “old self” and putting on the “new self” results from changing our thinking from darkened understanding and ignorance to being taught and learning.
We do what we do because we want what we want.
We want what we want because we think how we think.
Paul brings believers face to face with a fundamental issue. Either God is right, or the world is right. It cannot be both. Christians must choose on which basis they are going to live their lives.
APPLY:
Holiness has the sense of “set apart.” It is something special. Think of it as becoming more like Christ, becoming set apart as someone special and the best possible version of the person that God made you to be. God calls his believers to a higher standard.
First, God calls for higher thinking. Non-Christians have a way of thinking which Paul calls the futility of their thinking. It is darkened in their understanding. When we become a Christian, we still have the leaning toward old ways of thinking within us. A first step to becoming more holy is to think as a Christian. It matters what kind of content we allow in our minds. Grow in your thought life. Read good books, select the best material, read it slowly. Write about it in a journal. Clarify your thoughts. Is this true? If this helpful? How does this measure against the standard of Christ? Think.
Second, take off the old self. Make an active commitment. Habits, tendencies, desires from our old self need to be turned away from. We must dig out by the roots our old harmful behaviors and put them to death. Not just the superficial sin, but the sin behind the sin. The solution is to develop a bigger view of who God is!
Third, put on the new self. This is the new nature that God gives us when we become a Christian. We are born again. We are new. We put on Christ: his love, his patience, his zeal for God’s glory, his mercy, his truth. This may seem a bit foreign: not gossiping, not taking revenge. Instead, be merciful, be patient. We continually need to work on putting the new self on more and more.
In managing conflict, think what you would do if you really loved this person. Whatever that is, do that! The way to solve conflict, and grow in love, is not just to try to intend to love. The way to grow in love is to do something loving for the person you are trying to be loving towards. Loving feelings will follow behind loving actions. We are to conduct ourselves in a manner that is worthy of our calling in Christ.
CLOSING PRAYER:
Lord, change my thinking, because growth and change begin there. Teach me to think not in accord with my own human instincts but with the truth as it is revealed in your word. Amen.