Raising a child to follow Jesus isn’t a straightforward journey, it’s filled with uncertainty for every parent. Doubts often linger about how we steer our children in the right direction, and if our kids are “getting it.” The lessons we teach them often need to be retaught, reinforced, and relearned at different ages and stages of life. As the saying goes, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Parents want to run that race well with their kids but many struggle knowing where to start.
Last fall I got to work with a great team of Pathway parents and volunteers that researched what families were doing to put faith at the center of their home. No two families are alike, so we looked at a broad range of families with varying home environments and children of different ages. What we found is that there’s no silver bullet for raising a child in a faith-filled home, especially when families are so diverse, but we did see a pattern of habits and values these families were using to lead their kids to faith in Jesus. These “pillars” we discovered can be applied at almost any age and be used to build the faith of your family uniquely.
1. Create Space – The number one thing you can do for the faith of your child is creating space to listen to them and speak God’s truth and love into their life. Here at Pathway Church, we’re championing our families to do this by having 5-minutes of intentional conversation every day. This could be accomplished on the drive to or from school, during mealtimes, or any other way that suits your family. The nature of the conversation doesn’t have to be spiritual, but it gives you daily opportunities to share faith with your kids as you see into their lives. If you’re looking for some conversation-starters we’ve got you covered. Click here to download our Conversation starter page.
There are many other ways you can create space for your family. Go for a walk, have a family game night, or create memories with a daddy-daughter or mommy-son dates. Each week our family has “No Technology Tuesday” where phones are put away and we spend time together away from devices. Whatever you do, start simple and make it part of your family’s routine. It’s not about making drastic changes but being intentional and a little bit better each week with the time you have together. Plus, you’ll make some great memories along the way.
2. Surround them with Scripture – It’s hard to overstate how important it is for our kids to know the Bible. It teaches them how to be saved, who God is and what he’s like, it teaches us how to live wisely, the list goes on and on. If your kids are young, you could use a bedtime story bible or if you have teenagers, help them choose a devotional that you could read with them. Try picking some family favorite verses for everyone to memorize together. If your kid is reading, make sure they have a physical bible appropriate for their age. There’s lots of great resources out there and our team would love to help you pick one right for your family. Click here to ask for resources from our Kids Team (ages birth - 5th grade). Click here to ask for resources from our Students Team (6th-12th grade).
3. Talk to God Together – Communication is a big part of any relationship, so if we want our kids to have a relationship with Jesus, it’s important for them to learn how to talk and listen to God. The best way for them to learn is by seeing and hearing you do it. Find a moment of the day you can attach your prayer times to and pray out loud together. You can do it before leaving for school, before meals, or before bedtime, whatever fits your family but make sure it’s consistent. Also, look for moments to spontaneously pray with your kids like when they feel stressed out or something is bugging them. This will help show them that they can go to God in those kinds of moments. Depending on your kid’s age and experience praying, they may not want to participate in praying out loud, so don’t force them to but always give them the opportunity. One day, they may surprise you and you’ll realize how much they pick up from your prayers. If you need help knowing how to pray, I suggest TACOS. Everybody loves tacos.
- Thanksgiving – Thank God for what he’s done.
- Adoration – Praise God for who he is.
- Confession – Acknowledge and confess sin.
- Others – Pray for others.
- Self – Pray for yourself.
4. Build Identity – If you have glasses or contacts, you understand how important it is to have the right prescription so you can see and participate in the world around you. We want to make sure that our kids see the world and themselves through the correct lens, so they understand not only how much we love them, but how much God loves them, and their role in his bigger story. The Bible teaches us that God loves us, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God has a greater purpose for our lives. We want to pass on all these wonderful truths to our kids. This can be as simple as repeating these truths at home and in conversation. Something our family does is create family mottos and sayings that hold Biblical truth. In our house, we like to say “Hallbergs do hard things.” My kids are young so each day before they go to school, I tell them to “be a good friend and learn something new.” In doing this, we encourage them live out biblical principles like loving and caring for others and give them purpose and direction for their day. These will likely change as they age and that’s okay. They’ll need to hear these same truths repeatedly and sometimes in different ways. Take some time to think and pray about the most important things you want your kid to know and understand, then make a list. Think of ways you can speak and insert that truth into their lives each day. The moment you get tired of saying it is probably the moment it’s starting to catch on.
5. Put Faith into Action – When it comes to helping our kids live out their faith, it’s hard to ask them to do something that we won’t do ourselves. If we want our kids to follow Jesus, we must first show them what that looks like and encourage them to come alongside and participate in it. When I was young, my parents volunteered at church by filling the communion trays with bread and juice. I got to see my parents serving, and when I was old enough, they made me help. I wasn’t always happy to help, but over time it connected me to the mission of the church and grew my heart to serve others. Sometimes telling your kid something isn’t enough for them to learn it, they need to learn by doing it. Don’t underestimate the power of making your kid do the right things. Now that’s easier when they’re little versus when they’re bigger and your teen may begrudge you making them help out in ways that are not required of them, but no matter how much they complain, trust that they are learning along the way. Find ways that your family can serve together at church or in your community. Talk about being charitable and generous with your kids and encourage them to think of ways you can give back. Keep giving them opportunities to act out their faith and all those truths you’ve been sharing with them will start to click.
You are God’s Plan-A, no one is more influential or better suited to lead your kid to faith than you. It’s not about being a perfect parent or trying to cram these values into a bunch of new habits but it’s about trying to be a little more intentional week after week. The little efforts you make over time will have a massive impact. As you weave these five pillars into your everyday family routines, you’re building an everyday faith for them to inherit. You can do it! At Pathway Church, we are your biggest fans and want to come alongside you on the journey. We’re here for you! Connect with your kid’s Next-Gen ministry by checking out the links below.
Parent Resources
Kids Page
Students Page